you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize