Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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