there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize