Buhtt sex?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
