Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
