A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
