well most of my day revolves around power hour
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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