sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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