All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
