Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
