Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
