another moral hangover. fuck.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
