Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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