wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
