it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
