you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize