I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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