What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
