There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
