I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
