I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize