As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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