OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
