Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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