I want to have your abortion
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
