Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
