I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
