Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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