I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize