i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
