She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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