I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
