Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
