He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
