HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
