Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
