I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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