he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
