is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
