this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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