I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize