The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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