oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
