I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
