whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
