I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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