Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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