Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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