so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
