I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
