i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
