the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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