you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
