What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
