i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
