And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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