I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
