he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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