But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
