So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
