yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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